Jungle Cruise Jokes

[kmiller15211]

Hey all,
I have been to Disneyworld a ton of times (over 20), so when I made my first trip to DL circa 2000, I was amazed at how much funnier and looser the Jungle Cruise skippers were. I rode the ride 5-6 times in a day, just to hear all of the different spiels and the skippers' versions of them.

I'm always coming across new gags and jokes, so I figured that I'd start a thread to contain some of the best ones.

Here's a site that lists a good deal of them: http://www.csua.berkeley.edu/~yoda/jungle.htm. It hasn't been changed/updated in years (and lets hope it stays that way and doesn't disappear).

One of my faves: Upon coming to the elephant bathing pool: "These rites are seldom witnessed by civilized man, and by the looks of it, this boatload will be no exception".

[DisneyDave]

I always liked...

'They say bamboo can grow up to 7 stories tall. I have seen it grow up to 8! But that's another story!"


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Dave....

[daveypoo]

2 of my favorites:

"We're now approaching Switzer Falls, named after that famous explorer, Mr. Falls."

"These butterflies can grow a wingspan ranging from 12 inches up to one foot"
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When you're curious, you find lots of interesting things to do.
--Walt Disney

[undertaker0821]

I was the other way around, but i still agree. I had been to the DL version countless times, then when I went to WDW for the first time, I felt like it was way worse.

[epcotfan23]

It's old Chief Joesph the witch doctor. He'll trade you two of his head for one of yours!

[epcotfan23]

head(s)

[fireurgunz]

Here's the most furisome animal in the jungle, "The Bull Elephant's Mother in Law!"
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Attention travelers, please remain seated. Your vechile will be rotating backwards. -Spaceship Earth

[disneylanddude05]

The most used and most famous joke of Jungle Cruise ever...